Happy Anniversary

Thirty-one years ago, I stood in front of God and all my family and friends and vowed to love Raymond Frazier until death. Who knew that would take so long ;>) Seriously, I never dreamed then what marriage was all about. You know, in marriage retreats, we are told that “Love is not a feeling, love is a DECISION” and that is definitely the truth!

I dearly love Mr. Frazier, but it sure hasn’t been easy. We are polar opposites in so many areas. While opposites do attract, that attraction breeds a lot of friction ;>) We have had our ups and downs, our highs and lows, our separation and reunion and we are still together. How have we managed to do it, in spite of meddling friends and family, illness and tragedy, and our own innate cantankerous dispositions?

“We” haven’t done it at all. You see, a Catholic marriage (and our marriage qualifies even though I am the only Catholic) is a sacrament. And sacraments always confer the grace of God upon those who receive them. When we made our vows, we made them, not only to each other, but also to God. We invited God to be a partner in our marriage and when He agreed, He gives us all the grace we would ever need to get through all the tough times.

Another peculiarity of Catholic marriage is that our primary goal in life is to bring our partner to salvation. I really haven’t given that much thought until the last ten years or so. Initially, I thought “How can I “make” that ornery husband of mine see the error of his ways?” It gradually became apparent that Ray, through the grace of God, was helping me to look at my own faults and sins. That process is painful for anyone, but as strong-willed and opinionated as I am, it has been like swallowing knives.

However, I see now how helpful Ray has been to my spiritual growth. I thank God for bringing Ray into my life and I pray that I may be of some help to bringing him to the Lord. My love for Ray is not always pretty, but it is strong, deep and true. God bless you, Mr. Frazier!

One Week

I can’t believe that it has only been a week since surgery. Everyone tells me how well I look and how great I am doing….and I think so, too! I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this belly muscle pain normal or is it the making of a hernia? Are those internal sutures holding or is there trouble brewing there? Will I be able to get right back in the swing of a full-force schedule or did I overestimate how much I can do? That is my natural worry-wart self coming out.

Me, me , me, it's all about me. Illness or surgery has a way of turning all your focus on yourself. And I have found that really doesn't help me rrecover; I only obsess over every scab or gas pain until I have made myself sicker by worry. Nope, the best thing for me is to think of something else. TV doesn't do it; reading will, but my eyes can only handle so much of the written word. What REALLY does it is getting out and doing something helpful for someone. God has blessed me with a miraculous ability to tune out everything when I really concentrate, as I do when working with my patients and children at church. I know what I need and want to do.

I am starting back to work at the clinic tomorrow; I schedule only a half-day to see how I could handle it. But after office hours, I have a home behavior consultation with one of my avian patients, so I guess it will be a long half-day. First Communion is technically when I really started working again, though ;>) Not counting the many phone calls from the clinic and the four hours I put in today on bookwork. Hmmm, did I really take more than a day or two off?!!

The Road to Recovery

I feel great as long as I am doing nothing. My abdominal muscles are still a bit twingy and I am slightly nauseous now and then, but nothing like before my gall bladder was removed. I suspect those stones have been there for some time and that was the source of most, if not all, my “sensitive stomach” issues. But if I exert myself in any way, I am exhausted. I guess that this was still a major surgery (it took nearly two hours) and I know that the human body (especially a 56 year old one) does not bounce back immediately from general anesthesia. Still, it does take me by surprise, since I feel so well mentally.

While yesterday was a momentous occasion that I would not miss for the world, it took a lot out of me. Between the three hour practice on Saturday and three hours preparing for and assisting at the liturgy yesterday, I had overdone it. By the time Mass started, my insides were jelly and my muscles were quivering. I couldn’t even stay for the reception afterward; I barely made it home in time to collapse in bed for the rest of the day.

After a good night’s rest, I feel good as new this morning. As I told Father this morning, the spirit was willing, but this flesh was awfully weak ;>)

First Holy Communion

Today is the culmination of my preparations for the past year: our parish children received the Lord in Holy Eucharist for the very first of many, many times. When I watched each one of those little faces, in awe and faith, take the Host, and then the Cup, my heart overflowed with the love of Christ. As ornery and sinful as we all are, even these little ones, our Lord has forgiven us and calls us to a closer union with Him and with each other.

For this is the meaning of the word “communion”, that we all, joined by our common Catholic faith in the Real Presence of our Lord and Savior in this Blessed Sacrament, become one with Him. We draw our spiritual strength from consuming His actual Body and Blood, as He instructed His disciples to do at the Last Supper. It is an inexplicable Mystery, not understood, but believed in blind faith. For only by becoming blind to the attractions of this material world, can we see in faith the infinite glories which our Lord has promised us.

How I love this faith and how I thank God that He has blessed me with it. For it is only through His grace that I am here, in Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church in Cicero, Indiana, becoming closer to my brothers and sisters, living and dead, in Christ as we partake of His Holy Communion.

Alleluia, He is Risen!

VOTE!

Yesterday after eating, Shirley took me to the Hamilton County courthouse so that I could cast my absentee ballot. That way I won’t have to stand in line next Tuesday at the polls. I had forgotten that you can absentee vote some time in advance of the election.; I always voted absentee when I was in college.

I was under twenty-one when the legal voting age was changed from twenty-one to eighteen.
I treasured the right to voice my opinion and never could understand how someone took this privilege for granted or, worse yet, didn’t vote at all! And it hasn’t been easy; I was born and raised a Democrat in a Republican state ;>) When I went to veterinary school (ultra-conservative politics), I actively campaigned for Democratic candidates.

It has always been of paramount importance for me to vote in every election that I could, primary or regular. Whenever we moved, one of the first things I did was to register to vote in the new district. I have gone to the polls when I was so sick I had to have help standing.

So it has been with a growing sense of shame and disillusionment that I have not voted in the last five years. All politicians seemed to be saying the same thing, and lying about that, anyway. What difference did it make who I voted for? None of them were trustworthy or stood for anything except selfish greed.

My friend Shirley has been actively campaigning for Senator Obama the last couple of weeks before our primary here in Indiana. I tried to dampen her enthusiasm with my cynical philosophy, but she would have none of it. Even though I do not agree with all Shirley’s politics, her earnest belief in our system reawakened my civic pride. When Shirley said that no candidate would every perfectly agree with me on every issue, I knew she was right. And I knew what I had to do! My vote does count...and so does yours. Get out there next Tuesday and help elect those who govern us. It’s your God-given right and your civic duty!

First Friday

I got up this morning and felt great, so I decided to go to First Friday Mass. Our parish here in Cicero is the Sacred Heart of Jesus, so we practice First Friday devotions to the Sacred Heart. This involves Mass at 11:00 in the morning, followed by Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament all day, closing with Benediction at 7:00 p.m.

This is the first time I have driven since surgery three days ago and I was interested to see how that would go. I was surprised at how weak and shaky I felt. Kind of like when you first get up after being in bed for days with the flu. I made it through Mass OK, but that wiped me out.

I was supposed to meet Shirley at the clinic for lunch and then for absentee voting, so I called her and tried to cancel. She twisted my arm and I agreed that I did have to eat, so off we went to Bob Evans. Mmm, that turkey and dressing was yummy ;>)

After stuffing myself, I waited for that all-familiar pain and nausea that comes after every large meal I eat….but nothing happened! I wonder this is how life without a gall bladder goes. I am well and truly blessed!

Back To School

I did it, I made it to class tonight! Brother Dave took me, as I didn’t feel quite up to driving yet. I caught a ride home with one of my classmates. My first spirituality class on St. Benedict started this evening and I really didn’t want to miss it. There are only five sessions in this class and I will miss one when we go to Oregon in three weeks. Plus, I want to take it for credit, so I really need to be there;>)

It was great getting out and about. I have had to stay at home so much because of health issues, that I really hate not being able to leave the house. I start to get cabin fever if I can’t get out every day ;>) I very much enjoyed seeing lots of old friends and making some new ones. I am so spiritually recharged after these classes that they are important to keep me moving on my spiritual journey. Plus, I always have loved learning ;>)

And I love the Benedictine motto: "Ora et Labora" ... Pray and Work. Everything we do can be offered to God...how cool is that?!