Veterinary Reflections

Airplane Fun-NOT!

2008-05-20T13:42:00.001-04:00

We FINALLY made it to Oregon...over 3 hours late ;>(

My alarm rang at 3:45 this morning. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 7:15, so I needed plenty of time to get ready because we had to pick up Shirley and make that hour drive to the airport. Brother Dave came along to drive the van home. We got to Shirley's house and loaded her stuff and were on our way to the airport.

Shirley drove, since I can't see in the dark and Dave drives slooooowwwwww. It was not only dark, but raining and it seemed to take forever to get to the airport, but we made it by 6 and got through security alright. We boarded and left right on time, getting to Minneapolis to make our connection to OR.

We had a very short layover, then we boarded the plane for Oregon. We started to taxi, then we stopped and waited. After about 15 minutes, the pilot came on the intercom and told us that a light had come on to show that there was a malfunction in the cabin AC/air pressure device.

Well, long story short, we waited nearly 2 hours on the tarmac, before they decided that we needed to change planes. Which took another hour, before we were finally on our way. We never had time to pick up any food, so we paid twelve dollars for some veggies and crackers. Hungry and exhausted, we finally got into OR about 5:30 our time.

What a day!

Another Anniversary

2008-05-11T18:11:00.000-04:00

Today is another special day; we celebrated Mass for Dad. Four years ago this day, my father died. I was with him at the end and various details of his last illness replay in my mind. It all happened in just one week.

Dad became ill on the first weekend in May. That Sunday, I rushed him to our local hospital because he thought he was dying, but he couldn't quite explain what was wrong. He was in a lot of abdominal and chest pain, but all his vitals were stable. I was puzzled, but relieved when the ER doc told us all his tests were within normal limits.

However, as the week progressed, Dad continued to deteriorate. After a couple of visits to our family doctor and a CT scan, the problem was diagnosed: another abdominal aortic aneurysm, this one slowly leak. Dad had one AAA repaired back in 1995; this one was larger and extended into his thoracic aorta. He was taken into emergency surgery that Friday and never woke up. I was the one who took him to the surgeon and then to the hospital. Dave was visiting his girlfriend out of town and Mom was physically unable to go. It was just me and Dad for that final journey.

Surgery went well and for the first 24 hours post-op, Dad did great. He was on a ventilator and so was kept sedated. Mom could not stay at the hospital, so I ran her back and forth to home...forty minutes away. My brothers were on their way home, but Dave was driving, so could not get here before Saturday and Joe could not get a flight from Seattle until Monday.

Then things started to go wrong. First there was some evidence of blood loss in the abdomen. Then his kidneys started to fail. By 72 hours post-op, Dad’s belly was bloated and tests showed that his entire large and small intestines were dying. No more.
I discussed the situation with Dad’s doctors and the family; we decided to stop his meds and within the hour, Dad died.

I miss him every day.

A Bust

2008-05-10T17:27:00.000-04:00

BFF and I were scheduled to “hawk our wares” at a local pet store today. We got dressed up, loaded up and headed over there. When we pulled up, we were underwhelmed by the lack of any kind of notice that the ol’ Doc was coming. We went inside and we both got a sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs….there was no table, no display, nothing, nada. Uh-oh, we should have called and confirmed…although we did email and confirm about six weeks ago.

We went to the store manager’s office and when he saw us standing there, he looked puzzled. We point-blank asked him if he had forgotten about our arrangement and, with a sheepish look, he nodded his head, “yes”. He offered to set us up with a table, but without any advance advertising, we didn’t want to waste any more time. We both have a million other things we could be doing.

So we packed up and headed back home. Lesson learned: confirm events!

Full Load

2008-05-09T17:35:00.001-04:00

Wow, today was a back-breaker at work! Just like nothing had happened, it was a fully booked appointment schedule and then some. I got through the day, but l am totally exhausted tonight. I could barely crawl into bed; I guess I still have some post-op fatigue. I should know better…even with less invasive surgery, I usually take about a month to return to top form. And top form these days means being able to stay out of bed for over two hours-LOL!

But I don’t have any pain or nausea and that is amazing in itself. When you live day-to-day with something, you forget what it is to feel “normal”. I think this gall bladder has bothered me for a loonnggg time. I am so glad I had surgery before our trip to Oregon in ten days! Now I don't have to pack five bottles of Tums to take with me ;>))

Road Trip

2008-05-08T17:18:00.001-04:00

Yesterday my #2 assistant, Jill, and I made a home visit. We went to see Wiley, my mutilating Moluccan cockatoo patient. Wiley has been recovering well; it had been two weeks since I saw him last. He was so jazzed to see us. Typical cockatoo that he is, Wiley just knows every visitor comes to see him. This time he was absolutely right ;>) We were there just for him!

This is the first in what I hope will be an expansion of my practice. I want to develop an in-home behavioral consultation service for parrots. I can learn so much more when I actually see the brids in their own envornment and how they interact with other members of the household and myself. Plus, it's a whole lotta fun ;>))

Wiley is looking good. He still has an open wound on his right leg, but all other areas are healed and there are lots of new feathers coming in. I was so worried that we might lose him, but his “parronts” have been faithfully following instructions. They are wonderful people and really love their bird. Yeah! Our prayers have been answered!

Happy Anniversary

2008-05-07T17:14:00.000-04:00

Thirty-one years ago, I stood in front of God and all my family and friends and vowed to love Raymond Frazier until death. Who knew that would take so long ;>) Seriously, I never dreamed then what marriage was all about. You know, in marriage retreats, we are told that “Love is not a feeling, love is a DECISION” and that is definitely the truth!

I dearly love Mr. Frazier, but it sure hasn’t been easy. We are polar opposites in so many areas. While opposites do attract, that attraction breeds a lot of friction ;>) We have had our ups and downs, our highs and lows, our separation and reunion and we are still together. How have we managed to do it, in spite of meddling friends and family, illness and tragedy, and our own innate cantankerous dispositions?

“We” haven’t done it at all. You see, a Catholic marriage (and our marriage qualifies even though I am the only Catholic) is a sacrament. And sacraments always confer the grace of God upon those who receive them. When we made our vows, we made them, not only to each other, but also to God. We invited God to be a partner in our marriage and when He agreed, He gives us all the grace we would ever need to get through all the tough times.

Another peculiarity of Catholic marriage is that our primary goal in life is to bring our partner to salvation. I really haven’t given that much thought until the last ten years or so. Initially, I thought “How can I “make” that ornery husband of mine see the error of his ways?” It gradually became apparent that Ray, through the grace of God, was helping me to look at my own faults and sins. That process is painful for anyone, but as strong-willed and opinionated as I am, it has been like swallowing knives.

However, I see now how helpful Ray has been to my spiritual growth. I thank God for bringing Ray into my life and I pray that I may be of some help to bringing him to the Lord. My love for Ray is not always pretty, but it is strong, deep and true. God bless you, Mr. Frazier!

One Week

2008-05-06T19:29:00.002-04:00

I can’t believe that it has only been a week since surgery. Everyone tells me how well I look and how great I am doing….and I think so, too! I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this belly muscle pain normal or is it the making of a hernia? Are those internal sutures holding or is there trouble brewing there? Will I be able to get right back in the swing of a full-force schedule or did I overestimate how much I can do? That is my natural worry-wart self coming out.

Me, me , me, it's all about me. Illness or surgery has a way of turning all your focus on yourself. And I have found that really doesn't help me rrecover; I only obsess over every scab or gas pain until I have made myself sicker by worry. Nope, the best thing for me is to think of something else. TV doesn't do it; reading will, but my eyes can only handle so much of the written word. What REALLY does it is getting out and doing something helpful for someone. God has blessed me with a miraculous ability to tune out everything when I really concentrate, as I do when working with my patients and children at church. I know what I need and want to do.

I am starting back to work at the clinic tomorrow; I schedule only a half-day to see how I could handle it. But after office hours, I have a home behavior consultation with one of my avian patients, so I guess it will be a long half-day. First Communion is technically when I really started working again, though ;>) Not counting the many phone calls from the clinic and the four hours I put in today on bookwork. Hmmm, did I really take more than a day or two off?!!

The Road to Recovery

2008-05-05T19:25:00.000-04:00

I feel great as long as I am doing nothing. My abdominal muscles are still a bit twingy and I am slightly nauseous now and then, but nothing like before my gall bladder was removed. I suspect those stones have been there for some time and that was the source of most, if not all, my “sensitive stomach” issues. But if I exert myself in any way, I am exhausted. I guess that this was still a major surgery (it took nearly two hours) and I know that the human body (especially a 56 year old one) does not bounce back immediately from general anesthesia. Still, it does take me by surprise, since I feel so well mentally.

While yesterday was a momentous occasion that I would not miss for the world, it took a lot out of me. Between the three hour practice on Saturday and three hours preparing for and assisting at the liturgy yesterday, I had overdone it. By the time Mass started, my insides were jelly and my muscles were quivering. I couldn’t even stay for the reception afterward; I barely made it home in time to collapse in bed for the rest of the day.

After a good night’s rest, I feel good as new this morning. As I told Father this morning, the spirit was willing, but this flesh was awfully weak ;>)

First Holy Communion

2008-05-04T19:22:00.000-04:00

Today is the culmination of my preparations for the past year: our parish children received the Lord in Holy Eucharist for the very first of many, many times. When I watched each one of those little faces, in awe and faith, take the Host, and then the Cup, my heart overflowed with the love of Christ. As ornery and sinful as we all are, even these little ones, our Lord has forgiven us and calls us to a closer union with Him and with each other.

For this is the meaning of the word “communion”, that we all, joined by our common Catholic faith in the Real Presence of our Lord and Savior in this Blessed Sacrament, become one with Him. We draw our spiritual strength from consuming His actual Body and Blood, as He instructed His disciples to do at the Last Supper. It is an inexplicable Mystery, not understood, but believed in blind faith. For only by becoming blind to the attractions of this material world, can we see in faith the infinite glories which our Lord has promised us.

How I love this faith and how I thank God that He has blessed me with it. For it is only through His grace that I am here, in Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church in Cicero, Indiana, becoming closer to my brothers and sisters, living and dead, in Christ as we partake of His Holy Communion.

Alleluia, He is Risen!

VOTE!

2008-05-03T19:12:00.001-04:00

Yesterday after eating, Shirley took me to the Hamilton County courthouse so that I could cast my absentee ballot. That way I won’t have to stand in line next Tuesday at the polls. I had forgotten that you can absentee vote some time in advance of the election.; I always voted absentee when I was in college.

I was under twenty-one when the legal voting age was changed from twenty-one to eighteen.
I treasured the right to voice my opinion and never could understand how someone took this privilege for granted or, worse yet, didn’t vote at all! And it hasn’t been easy; I was born and raised a Democrat in a Republican state ;>) When I went to veterinary school (ultra-conservative politics), I actively campaigned for Democratic candidates.

It has always been of paramount importance for me to vote in every election that I could, primary or regular. Whenever we moved, one of the first things I did was to register to vote in the new district. I have gone to the polls when I was so sick I had to have help standing.

So it has been with a growing sense of shame and disillusionment that I have not voted in the last five years. All politicians seemed to be saying the same thing, and lying about that, anyway. What difference did it make who I voted for? None of them were trustworthy or stood for anything except selfish greed.

My friend Shirley has been actively campaigning for Senator Obama the last couple of weeks before our primary here in Indiana. I tried to dampen her enthusiasm with my cynical philosophy, but she would have none of it. Even though I do not agree with all Shirley’s politics, her earnest belief in our system reawakened my civic pride. When Shirley said that no candidate would every perfectly agree with me on every issue, I knew she was right. And I knew what I had to do! My vote does count...and so does yours. Get out there next Tuesday and help elect those who govern us. It’s your God-given right and your civic duty!

First Friday

2008-05-02T19:07:00.002-04:00

I got up this morning and felt great, so I decided to go to First Friday Mass. Our parish here in Cicero is the Sacred Heart of Jesus, so we practice First Friday devotions to the Sacred Heart. This involves Mass at 11:00 in the morning, followed by Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament all day, closing with Benediction at 7:00 p.m.

This is the first time I have driven since surgery three days ago and I was interested to see how that would go. I was surprised at how weak and shaky I felt. Kind of like when you first get up after being in bed for days with the flu. I made it through Mass OK, but that wiped me out.

I was supposed to meet Shirley at the clinic for lunch and then for absentee voting, so I called her and tried to cancel. She twisted my arm and I agreed that I did have to eat, so off we went to Bob Evans. Mmm, that turkey and dressing was yummy ;>)

After stuffing myself, I waited for that all-familiar pain and nausea that comes after every large meal I eat….but nothing happened! I wonder this is how life without a gall bladder goes. I am well and truly blessed!

Back To School

2008-05-01T20:37:00.000-04:00

I did it, I made it to class tonight! Brother Dave took me, as I didn’t feel quite up to driving yet. I caught a ride home with one of my classmates. My first spirituality class on St. Benedict started this evening and I really didn’t want to miss it. There are only five sessions in this class and I will miss one when we go to Oregon in three weeks. Plus, I want to take it for credit, so I really need to be there;>)

It was great getting out and about. I have had to stay at home so much because of health issues, that I really hate not being able to leave the house. I start to get cabin fever if I can’t get out every day ;>) I very much enjoyed seeing lots of old friends and making some new ones. I am so spiritually recharged after these classes that they are important to keep me moving on my spiritual journey. Plus, I always have loved learning ;>)

And I love the Benedictine motto: "Ora et Labora" ... Pray and Work. Everything we do can be offered to God...how cool is that?!

Emma Comes Home

2008-04-30T20:22:00.000-04:00

First twenty-four hours post-op and all is well. I feel like someone has punched me in the belly and I an very tired (took a couple of naps today), but no nausea, Yeah, I think the operation was a success. I am very impressed at the overall lack of pain. Of course after a complete hysterectomy and total knee replacement, I feel that I am an expert in pain. Both of those surgeries were so painful that my mind has blocked the memory…a good thing, otherwise I would never have surgery of any type again-LOL.

Shirley, my BFF, brought over Miss Emma, the baby Bourke’s parakeet, she is giving us in exchange for Lenny (formerly Roxie…that’s another story). We have Emma’s aunt, Jinxie, at the clinic now, so they will be able to keep each other company. I will use my recovery time to try and tame Emma a bit before taking her to the clinic. She was raised by her parents and is basically wild.

Bourke’s are wonderful little birds. They are beautiful and lovely fliers. They don’t talk, but make the most adorable chirps and cheeps. They are easily tamed and make wonderful companions. On Shirley’s website, you can find everything you ever wanted to know about Bourke’s. But be forewarned! They’re just like potato chips: you can’t stop at just one-LOL!

S-day

2008-04-29T21:07:00.003-04:00

Well, it’s over, my gall bladder is out and I'm back home. It was definitely outpatient surgery; I can’t believe how fast everything went. Of course, I WAS asleep most for most of the morning ;>) Dave took me down to St. Vincent’s Hospital; we arrived at 5:30.

I really didn’t have time to be nervous until last night. NOW I’m nervous. My prep nurse is very nice and when my surgeon steps in to say hi, I relax a bit. But when the anesthesiologist comes in to discuss what he will be doing, I ask him what drugs he will use. He goes into defensive doctor-speak when he finds out I'm an animal doc, so that revs me up a bit. But all goes well and the next thing I know, I am in recovery and getting ready to vomit..anesthesia usually has that effect on me. An anti-nausea injection and I'm good.

A short while later, I am wheeled back to my little cubicle (no formal rooms for outpatient surgeries), and Ray comes strolling in-he has taken over from Dave. After a couple of hours, a Sprite and some crackers, I am dressed and being wheeled to the door. Back home, into my own bed by 2:00. My nurses were even amazed at how well I did! No surprise to me. I knew I had all those prayer warriors at work and the good Lord is always very good to me. Why should today be any different ;>)

The Last Hurrah

2008-04-28T21:02:00.002-04:00

I have just went through the worst gall bladder attack yet. It started at about 4:00 this morning and the pain went on and on and on….not slacking off until about 9:00 a.m. I don’t know how people suffer through these attacks daily, and some do! They leave me weak and nauseaous for a day or two.

I have to fast after midnight for surgery tomorrow. That won’t be a problem-I’m not hungry for hours after my gall baldder flares up. I wish I was going under the knife right now. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired ;>)

As if that is not enough, I had to go to the dentist this afternoon. Evidently my tooth problem is a gigantic cavity. My dentist filled it and is confident it will be OK. I’m not so sure. My teeth rebel against me: they chip and break with the least provocation, crowns fall off, my partials get loose and whatever other dental misfortunes can happen, do. I have the dentist’s phone number on speed dial, although it’s unnecessary, as I have it memorized. His receptionist recognizes my voice and we are all on a first-name basis. When I go into his office, it’s like a family reunion. How long does one hang onto their teeth? I keep thinking that it would be much easier, less painful and much less expensive just to get the few teeth I have left yanked and then get dentures.

I just hope the anesthesiologist doesn’t knock out my new filling tomorrow!

Now What?

2008-04-27T20:59:00.000-04:00

I am trying to get everything in order before surgery Tuesday. We had our Rite of Invitation at the 8:00 Mass this morning for the children who will receive First Holy Communion next Sunday. I think I have it all in order. I ran into a small snafu when I couldn’t get any volunteers to host the reception after the liturgy next weekend. I waited too long before asking, but some of these details escape me. Fortunately, I was able to prevail upon one of my staff, Sara (also a parishioner) and her family to help. I can always count on Sara when I need someone to do a last-minute job ;>)

I am gonna have to see the dentist tomorrow. I noticed that one of my upper molars has felt a little “funny”, a little rough, for several weeks now. This evening while eating supper, it really started to ache and the tooth beside it was tender when I pushed on it. After I finished eating, I got a mirror and a penlight and did a little dental self-exam. Yikes! There is a HUGE crater in that tooth! What now? Did a filling fall out? Did I crack it and break off a piece of the tooth?! Oh no, that thing is so enormous, it looks like the tooth needs crowned, which means a probable root canal. This is just what I need right before surgery-NOT!!! Think positive, Doc, maybe it won’t be that bad…

Saturday for Strays

2008-04-26T19:53:00.001-04:00

“No good deed goes unpunished” I told the lady standing at the door of the clinic today. The clinic is closed on the weekends; I had stopped in Saturday afternoon to get some forms printed out for church. As I sat in my office, at the computer, I thought I heard a muted “tap, tap, tap”. I listened, there it was again. I was alone, it was late afternoon and I had no one to help me. Due to my physical disability, I was hesitant to answer the door, yet the noise persisted.

I decided to go see who was tap, tap, tapping at my door. As I rounded the corner, I saw a lady walking down the front steps. I looked down and there was a box, covered with a towel, on the stoop! I knew that meant something dead or alive. So I unlocked the door, just as the lady was driving away. Angry that another person had just dumped an animal at the clinic (not an unusual incident), I hollered “Hey, come back here!” I was surprised when she did.

I peeked under the towel as she got out of her car. There were three newborn kittens; two dead and stiff and one, nearly dead, barely moving. I listened to her long story of a stray cat who disappeared after having these kittens under the neighbor's porch. I then explained to the lady the various options available to us. Everything I suggested was met with “I can’t do that because…” And of course, there was no money to pay for anything. The lady kept saying “I was only trying to do the right thing” when I answered her with the above statement.

Frustrated and tired, I looked into the box and knew I had to take care of this poor creature, so I told her I would put him to sleep and pay for the cremation myself. I realized that the above statement about good deeds applied to myself. My husband had just given me the “no more charity, the clinic has to make money” lecture last week, one of his favorites. Oh, well, what can a poor animal doc do?

First Communion Practice

2008-04-25T19:43:00.002-04:00

Last night was the first practice for the second-grade in our parish religious education program (PRE) here at Sacred Heart. This is the first class that I have not personally taught. I had to downsize myself last year…too many projects, not enough Doc ;>)

I wondered how well this group would do since I didn’t know them well. In the past seven years that I have taught, I always knew who was shy, who was rowdy, who liked to read, who spoke in a nearly silent whisper, so I usually had a good idea of how to set the children up for the various roles in the First Communion liturgy. This time, I was a bit perplexed: how do I figure this one out?

And, of course, I had forgotten. I am not the one running the show! When I remembered that, I prayed to the Holy Spirit and everything fell into place. This always gives me a sense of relief and freedom. Although I still run around trying to remember all the details, I ask our Lord to help me do those things that really need to be done and leave the rest ;>)

The children were wonderful; a bit giggly and awkward, but nothing unusual. I was amazed at how well our practice went…although I don’t know why I was surprised. Everything God does turns to His Good, alleluia!

Titillating Thursday

2008-04-24T11:47:00.001-04:00

The fun just never ends. Ray called me from work last night about 10:00 and asked me if I found the insurance letter. What insurance letter? We get all our mail at the clinic and I never saw a letter from the insurance company. Evidently they sent it to the home address and it was delivered to Mom and Dave next door. Dave had given it to Ray earlier in the day and Ray had laid it on the computer desk.

I went to get the letter and about fainted when I read it. Our home-owner’s policy was canceled, effective May 5, because we lived too far from the fire department. What kind of craziness was this? Was this a reaction to the fire claim we had ten years ago? Surely not!?! And, of course, I couldn’t reach anyone at that time of night, so I left a message. I got on the phone as soon as I was free this morning and got it all straightened out. Our agent was rewriting the policy to get us a lower premium and she had been working on this problem for the past couple of weeks. So everything is under control..sort of…I think…maybe..it better be!

A word of advice on insurance: ALWAYS get replacement cost coverage. Because our insurance agent was a friend, I trusted him completely when he wrote the policy and told me he would take care of us. And he did, we did have replacement cost coverage. When we had the fire, it destroyed almost everything in the bedroom, where the fire started, and the smoke damage was unbelievable throughout the rest of the house. Most of what had to be replaced was old and worth little. Without proper insurance, we never would have been able to replace everything. Of course, we did lose some things that money can’t buy and it was a very traumatic experience for all of us.

Never leave a burning candle unattended, even if you are only in the next room. That’s what started the fire and I have not burned a candle since! My brother Dave affectionately nick-named me Her Royal Majesty, the Fire Queen, commonly referred to as HRM, FQ. Close friends still call me “Queenie”.

Wacky Wednesday

2008-04-23T11:44:00.001-04:00

Here we go again....just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water. I got a call at work today from my surgeon's office that they forgot to do blood work in the pre-op testing that I underwent on Monday. So I need to go to the hospital after work to get blood drawn. No problem, right?

The lab closes at 6:00, so I knew it would be a close call when I left at 5:15. I got to the hospital at 5:30 and had to wait fifteen minutes to register. As the clerk rolled her eyes at me when I told her why I was there, I felt my blood pressure start to rise. I took a deep breath and asked her to call down to the lab to alert them I was coming, and she did. I got to the lab as fast as I could and the phlebotomist had me in the chair, blood drawn, and out the door before you could say “Venipuncture”. I never even got to make my standard quips: “You won’t have to shave the hair to find my vein” or “I won’t bite or scratch” or “if I can get blood out of a two pound kitten or a 90 gram cockatiel, you shouldn’t have any problem”. The last one I save for the techs I know; I don’t want to antagonize anyone poking a needle in my arm! One more thing crossed-off the list before S-Day next Tuesday. Only a zillion more to go....

Outta Control Tuesday

2008-04-22T11:41:00.003-04:00

Another day, another dollar. Another dollar owed, that is. It wasn't bad enough that I had to dip into Merlin's college fund to pay Uncle Sam last week. I open my cell phone bill today and nearly had a stroke when I saw it was almost $400! Wow, what happened there?

My basic plan is kinda salty anyway, but nothing close to that much. I did just add my husband to the plan, but he forgets to carry his cell, let alone talk on it (he's the strong, silent type). He also has a wireless data card that's on the account. And my brother is on the same plan, but he pretty much uses night/weekend minutes.

I simply did not have time to scrutinize the bill, so I asked my Number Two, Jill, the cellie authority, to translate it for me. You need a degree in accounting to figure these things out, but Jill quickly got to the root of the problem. There were two primary contributing factors:

1. About 700 of my rollover minutes expired.

2. I used over 1000 minutes myself. Yikes! I didn't realize I was such a jabber-jaws! All this time I thought it was all these people calling me that wouldn't shut up ;>))

Jill also pointed out that the 700 minutes plan I had was NOT enough for three people. We called AT&T to see what we could do. I signed up for an additional 700 minutes monthly, and they graciously made it retroactive, which took $150 off this bill. Yeah!!

The only problem is that I only have 250 minutes left to use until May 11. So if you don't hear from me, just wait till the weekends!

Monday, Monday

2008-04-21T19:28:00.004-04:00

The day dawned gloriously in a gray haze of overcast clouds and fog. As I hurriedly dressed and did my morning chores, I kept one eye on the clock. I had a 10:00 appointment with the surgeon and a forty-minute drive to his office. Dogs barking to go out, cats running between my legs, meowing for breakfast, Merlin calling "Pretty Bird" and Shelby yelling "Trevor" (translated, that means "come here, NOW!"), it was all a typical morning at the zoo.

I managed to feed them all, get dogs out and in, birds settled and myself dressed and on the way at 9:05. I tried to open the door to the van-oops! Locked the keys inside. I shook my head and reached into my purse, pulling out the spare key, put it in the lock, nothing. Now my blood pressure started to rise! I ran back inside, got my husband, who looked at the spare key I had and told me it was the wrong one. He got his spare key and opened the door to the van for me. Whew, 9:15, now I am on my way, but I still have plenty of time.

I'm driving along, talking to the clinic and giving them instructions for the day, when traffic comes to a screeching halt. Oh, no! Road construction! Ten minutes later, I'm on my way again. Surprisingly enough, I am only a few minutes late for my appointment.

Now I get the good news. This gallstone thing is more serious than I thought, the surgeon wants to remove my gallbladder sooner, rather than later, and, after the last month, so do I. I am tired of the pain and nausea that seems to be getting worse. So I am scheduled for gall bladder removal on April 29! Wheeee.

I get all my pre-op testing and pre-certification finished. By this time it is 1:00, the time I had scheduled to have my hair done. I get out of the hospital a little after 1:00 and call my hairdresser. She tells me to come ahead, she will work me in. On the way there, I start making the phone calls needed to rearrange my schedule for surgery next week. I finally get to my hairdresser's, and she does my hair as we discuss and resolve our life problems. She begins drying my hair and I fall asleep, still talking.

Done with hair, I return home, to begin the cycle of menagerie management all over again. All in the day of an animal repairwoman.....

A Tribute to Lexie

2008-04-20T21:09:00.004-04:00

Lexie Mervar died last night. Lexie was an eleven year old Siberian Husky who belonged to my cousin, Michelle, and her husband, Bob. Lexie was a truly beautiful dog, a loving companion, with an indomitable spirit and a joy for life that inspired all who had the privilege to know her.

Twelve years ago, Michelle and Bob lost their only child, Sean, in a tragic car accident. They are devout and faithful Christians;their faith never wavered. They knew God's grace carried them, even in this terrible tragedy. Never having had children, I cannot begin to imagine the awful, unbearable grief of losing a child. Bob and Michelle never complained, living bravely on in their devastation.

I only knew later what I had suspected, that they suffered terribly. Michelle told me, more than once, how Lexie had saved her life after Sean died. I met Lexie as an exuberant puppy, a bouncing ball of fur and joy and life. What had Bob and Michelle gotten themselves into? I wondered how my cousin, always immaculate and precise in appearance,housekeeping and her life, was going to cope with this puppy who would chew, soil and shed all over, all the while running rings around her people. But Lexie was exactly what was needed: God sent Lexie to Bob and Michelle to help them begin healing and He sent them to Lexie to take care of her, for Lexie proved to be a special needs dog.

Lexie grew and thrived; I saw the smile return to my cousin's eyes. I saw Michelle more frequently since she made that hour drive to bring Lexie to my clinic for puppy vaccinations. However, when Lexie was just a couple of years old, she injured her knee and had to undergo surgery for repair. The hair that was shaved for surgery never regrew and after several months, Lexie began losing more hair. We did skin tests, blood tests, cultures and biopsies. I consulted veterinary dermatologists. Michelle took Lexie to a veterinarian who tried homeopathic remedies. Hair continued to fall out.

The hair never regrew, except in odd tufts and fuzzballs. Lexie sure didn't care, she bounced into the clinic, with that gleam in her eye, barking joyously, announcing her presence. Michelle loved Lexie just as much, maybe even more, in spite of her appearance, although I know she would have dearly wanted to see Lexie again with that gorgeous full coat she had as a youngster.

Last fall, Lexie became suddenly ill as a result of an autoimmune disease which destroyed her red blood cells. We thought we would lose her, but she rallied, and began to recover. She had to take massive amounts of cortisone to counteract the disease. A few months later her blood sugar levels began to climb and, in spite of dietary intervention, Lexie developed full-blown diabetes. We started Lexie on insulin a couple of months ago and, once again, she responded well. Bob and Michelle, always the ideal clients, followed instructions meticulously and when I last saw Lexie ten days ago, she had that gleam back in her eye and barked enthusiastically for her treats at the clinic. I spoke with Michelle just a couple of days ago to review Lexie's care, and everything seemed to be going very well.

Until I received the call last night. Michelle crying on the phone, Lexie yelping in the background, so I knew it was bad. Lexie was having seizures. What to do? I knew that Bob and Michelle would not want to leave Lexie at an emergency center and I wasn't sure how much they would be able to help. We had talked previously about how much we would put Lexie through in another crisis. But they were so far away from me! We thought it was probably time to make that final decision. I told them to load her in the car and bring her up.

Michelle called about forty-five minutes later and told me she thought Lexie was gone, she couldn't find a pulse and she couldn't see her breathe, but they wanted me to check, just to be sure. I met them at the clinic and when they laid her on the table, I knew that it was all over. There was nothing in those once-bright eyes and, although the body was still warm, the life had gone. Lexie's spirit had left and all we had were the memories of her love and joy in life.

Do dogs go to heaven? I don't know, that is not for me to know. What I do know is this: God is love, and he who abides in love, abides in God. Lexie was God's creation, just like you and me, and Lexie was all about love. So I know that she is with God and that is where we all hope to be someday.

Good-bye, good and faithful dog! Till we meet again.....

Can You Hear God?

2008-04-19T12:58:00.003-04:00

God speaks to me. God speaks to all of us. Can you hear Him? Elijah heard Him; not in the loud, rushing wind, not in the crashing thunder, but in the still, small whisper. It is the same for us.

We are so busy, there is so much noise and distraction that we don't hear God speaking to us. How can we hear that still, small voice when the cell phones ring, the car horns honk, the radio is plays, the TV blares, the kids scream, the animals bark and squawk? Can we ever stop talking ourselves? Can we possibly bear the silence long enough to listen?

I see God. I see Him in the eyes of the old dog I just euthanized. I see God in the birds, flying and singing outside and in my parrots' joyful noise as they engage in their rowdy antics. I spotted God today in the beautiful daffodils blooming in the yard. I see Him in the sun and the rain and the snow. Do we look for God? Or are we so focused on ourselves and what we need to do and where we need to go, that we never open our eyes?

I love God. I love Him In His Son, dying for my salvation. I love Him in my employees nagging me to answer a question. I love Him in my aged mother, telling me the same thing for the third time in the past thirty minutes. I love God in animals and children and all creation. Do we love things more than the One who created them? Do we look for God in ourselves and each other and love Him there?

God bless each one of you today!

Where Did the Time Go?

2008-04-18T21:32:00.000-04:00

There just are not enough hours in the day! And just when I finish one project, put my feet up and breathe a sigh of relief, I remember the next one is just around the corner. I sign on for something else when someone from church calls and then I get an e-mail asking for my help. I hate to turn anyone down, but I simply cannot figure out when there is time for anything else!

I used to really stress about deadlines and every little detail, but not anymore. Sure, I'm concerned that I might forget something important, but, you know what? Most mistakes and forgotten details don't kill anyone and I am always surprised at how many people don't even realize things were not quite right.

How do I do this? You may not believe me, but every morning when I wake up, I ask God to help me get those things done that really need done that day. And you know what? God ALWAYS comes through! When I start thinking that it is all MY work and that I am doing everything by myself, then things go wrong. But when I "let go and let God", the work gets done. And I still have time at the end of the day to cuddle the birds. God has truly blessed me; "my cup overflows"!